Father,
I've been thinking about the idea of worship lately. I think that word has some bad connotations for many people.
And not long ago, I heard a quote that is widely attributed to Emerson and it goes:
"A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will come out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping, we are becoming"
I happen to agree with this now. Worshipping doesn't have to be conventionally ritualistic—it's just whatever is on someone's mind the most.
People can worship themselves, a crush, a boy band member, an anime character, a videogame, pizza, beauty in general, or anything really.
It does not even have to be something one consciously chooses. I think it's whatever anchors one's life. And the less stable that anchor is, the messier everything could get.
I'd clung on to less reliable idols before, and Father, You’d seen how that had turned out.
But that’s before I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior.
Since then, I realized that while the idea of being anchored to a strong foundation can sound intimidating from the outside, that shouldn’t turn me into an unchanging, immovable creature at all. Since my life rests on this bedrock, my heart is at peace and I’m like a free child scribbling drawings and writing to connect with the people around her, whether she’s entirely believed or not.
The fear of turning into a ‘rigid, religious woman’ was a fear that took me a while to get rid of though.
As a creative being, I was afraid of losing my flexibility. Then the irony of my fear slapped me in the face: how does one lose their creativity when one learns to walk with the Creative Author Himself?
I should never have completely relied on my mind, Father. I can hold on to contradictory ideas for so long.
I stopped writing the nihilistic entries that Albert Camus or the author of the biblical book of Ecclesiastes had written. And Father, I think it's good that I'm no longer a writer of that genre.
I'm usually not pleased to find myself cringing at nihilistic literature though. As Paul had written, we should not forget where we were. That's where I was a few years ago. I was going to end my quest for finding truth by declaring everything meaningless.
And nihilists are right about the world: everything here is meaningless. So, we needed a way out and Christ gave us that.
Thank You for giving me a life that doesn't rot.
Thank You for Eden's life, and that she's been right all along. It was and is You. May your dynamic Spirit guide me in everything I create from now on.
I can't help but stand in awe of You, and worship.
Love,
-w
And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.
Ephesians 4:11 - 16 NKJV